Saints and Seasons
One year my late husband Gordon gave me a paint can for Valentine’s Day. (Hey, it was better than the adding machine he’d given me early on in our marriage!) Luckily it was not any old paint can - on a pink background in darker pink letters it said One gallon LOVE. “It’s not just a paint can” he said “It’s a music box.” And sure enough there was a key sticking out of the lid.
Opening the can I found it was not empty. Inside was a piece of the ubiquitous yellow lined paper folded in half and on each side he had written: wind the music box - then open. I wound the key and the music box began playing “Feelings.” I unfolded the piece of paper, and found a poem he’d written:
Sweetheart,
The paint can is kinda dumb
but it made me think of you
and how much I love you.
The can may look empty
But it - and love - surround and
encompass a space.
And that space becomes a
Love Field
Capable of tender effect to all
who are open to its emanations.
So, if you ever feel surrounded by emptiness
Listen for the tune of the Love Field .
You are Loved.
Gordon
The can sits mostly unnoticed, a little worse for the years, on a shelf by the bed, our bed. My eye fell on it again recently; I wound the key and read again the poem that was written in his own dear hand long before the 1989 accident which resulted in his quadriplegia. The paper is old now and has moth eaten edges. But it worked its magic, even beyond the grave, maybe especially so. Suddenly Gordon's love for me was physically here, enfolding me with its warmth, the past made wonderfully present. And I knew in a way I never had before what Jesus meant when he assured his first disciples, and us, that He would not leave us comfortless, but would send the Holy Spirit to remind us of His love, to be his love among us. I had heard it all my life, and I had believed it; more than that, I had banked on it. But I had known it only in my head. Now, thanks to Gordon, I know it with my heart as well, with me very self.
Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful
and kindle in us the fire of your love.
Send forth your Spirit and we shall be created,
and you shall renew the face of the earth.
Louise Buck
February 2011
@ Saints and Seasons is a monthly (except for August) column written by Louise Buck for "The Gospel at Saint David's," the monthly magazine of St David's Episcopal Church, 5050 Milton St, San Diego CA.