Saturday

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  may spend the night, 

  but joy comes in the morning.   Psalm 30:6

JUST the other day I was out "dead heading" day lilies out back and I remembered Mom saying to me once while she was here, while she was out dead heading daisies "Louisa! Why don't you dead head these?" and I was so annoyed wit her. Gordon had been quadriplegic for more than a decade and things were not good - read incredibly hard, whatever was going on, and I "heard" her saying  that I was not measuring up or doing enough.  Then just the other day while I was outside as the nice warm sun was breaking through the fog and warming my back, it struck me that Maybe she was saying "Louisa, if you came out in the sunshine for a few minutes and just deadheaded flowers it would give you a beak, it would expand your heart and horizons."  Only, she couldn't say it and I couldn't hear it. I could only hear criticism and she could only hear rejection. 

The other-daughter relationship is just incredibly difficult and painful on a multitude of levels.  But it's obviously never too late - Mom had been gone nearly 3 years and yet I finally heard her voice and I finally knew what kind of care she had for me at that moment. Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning.