11-11-11 A date both Mom and John of Patmos would love....

Then 

I saw heaven opened and there was  white horse! Its rider is called Faithful and True...  Revelation 19:11

I have found no place for my heart to rest in meditation today. The psalm (88) is a full on lament.  The OT reading (I Macaaabees 1:41-63) is full of a despotic ruler jerking the people around, and the faithful choosing to die rather than forsake God. “And they did die,” it says. Then this - (Revelation 19:11-16)  this weird and wonderful book that was written in code the first century, in a time of persecution. The writer was an old man by then, seeing all that has been built up being threatened and destroyed.  That didn't seem promising.  So on to the Collect for Friday, my last hope and something that I can usually rest in, seeing the way of the cross as “none other than the way of life and peace,” But even that seemed closed today. 

When life seems intolerable, when the people, institutions, and places where we usually find solace and help are not there, we ned to turn inward in faith. We have a personal relationship with God, but not a solitary one, We walk with all those who have gone before who, in their own distress and loneliness, have seen and been encouraged by the One who is Faithful and True. The vision was given to strengthen him but hiis words are for the upbuilding and encouragement of those enduring persecution and loss. I could use someone riding in on a white horse about now! But my heart could not rest there either. 

Gertrude Nelson said somewhere that the end of our rope is a holy place to be, though it feels more hopeless than holy.  Maybe that’s the point. Maybe at these times it’s time to stop and rest in the words of Jesus on the cross “Into your hands I commend my spirit...”  Not will be your be done.

Into

your hands 

I commend 

my spirit, 

for you have

redeemed me, 

O Lord, 

O God 

of truth.